It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
