Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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