im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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