Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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