I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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