Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
