Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
