I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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