How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
