So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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