guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
