Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
