awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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