My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
