After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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