Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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