let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
