I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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