fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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