rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
