I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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