sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
