3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
