He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
