I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
