im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
