We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
