I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
