cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
