you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
