just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
