So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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