Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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