One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
