He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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