you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
