Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
