physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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