Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
