I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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