i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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