i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
