alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
