Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
