how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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