Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
