the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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