Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
