Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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