I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
