he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
