mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
