Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Terrible idea I love it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
